The Bear

I was camping with my family when… a big bear — more like a HUGE bear — decided to walk around our tents and then pee on them. We screamed at the bear hoping it would run away but it just looked at us like we were crazy.  First of all, can we talk about the look on his face? 

Since that didn’t work we were going to run away and try to get our stuff back, but not the tent. As we slowly gathered our stuff the bear ran away. We sighed in relief and went back to camping. 

While sitting by the campfire we saw a whole group of bears, no, AN ARMY OF BEARS READY TO EAT US.  As we started to panic I heard some voices then looked around to see who it was but i didn’t see anyone. Then I heard it again. 

It said “Hey, over here. It’s me, the bear!”

I thought i was going crazy!  I looked at the bear and saw him MOVING his slimy mouth making actual WORDS?!  I said to the bear “are you really talking?

He said, “You beary believe it.”

I’m freaking out.  Was I a bear whisperer or something? What if I end up in a lab? Or a circus! I asked the bear why he was even here and why he peed on my tent :/, not to mention TALKING!

Then he told me “Welp, I was looking for dem honey. Thought y’all would have it because you’re humans and all. I only peed on your tent because I had nowhere else to go. Do you see any washroom marked “BEARS”? 

I told him we had lots of honey and I gave him all we had. In addition to that, I gave him some leftover bread. 

“Thanks. We’ll come back when we need more,” said the bear.

I told him I didn’t live here and I might not be back here again. He sniffed me and then said he would just find my house and break in and get the honey there.  Aren’t bears just so darn sweet! 

We then left and went home.  About a week later I went downstairs and saw the bear in my kitchen. Well, I guess he wasn’t lying about finding my house. Since that day, he’s been back every week for more honey.